><( ;>

"And from where is this self-entitlement coming from?" I told a student after he questioned the grades I gave him with an unwarranted outburst. He recites, he says. A lot, making sure that I remember how much he has raised his hand.

"If I gave a point for every time you raised your hand, then you wouldn't need a teacher. Did you even consider if your answers were substantial? If I were to give a grade each and every time you recite, you might even fail more. Do you notice how I have to rephrase the question each time you answer? Do you ever count the number of times I have tried to shake off a more concrete response from your abstractions, most of which you can't even explain? And how many times were you absent? Late? How many quizzes did you miss. You missed 4, we already had 7. And honestly, while you were gone, we had more productive lessons: there were more intelligent questions, and you're classmates aren't distracted by your impish antics, nor by your unthought-of responses that aren't dumb nor dumb enough to be funny. And if you continue complaining about your grade, you will prove my point yourself."

The next hour, I discussed four poems with hardly any interruption.

I don't know why they're called subnotebooks other than the fact that they're smaller and lighter than your usual notebooks. They tested four very popular subnotebooks, assessing their size, weight, start-up time, battery life, keyboard size, and the verdict...



Will anyone out there come out with a review testing the performance of these subnotebooks? And by performance, I don't just mean keyboard sizes. How fast would it take for a 5mb pdf file open in both computers? Would they freeze in sleep mode? What kinds of programs do they pack in? Do they have photo support, music programs, etc. And how do they compare with what the competitor has to offer?

Neo Rauch's paintings speak to me. The uniformed men, the echoes of wartime guilt, the seemingly simple pictures torn off a textbook from my childhood that championed the colonial, and then the pinch of the surreal.

Die Flamme, 2007


Acker, 2002


Einbruch, 1999


Paranoia, 2007

Of all the gizmos I have owned, it's only my old Casio Z55 digicam that has suffered getting wet. I was in Bangkok, trying to find something to do on a boring Sunday. I was avoiding the malls and wanted to see life beyond commerce when all of a sudden the rain poured. And that was the last of my first digital camera.

If only I knew this then:



I didn't know rice was a natural desiccant. Then again, I never did understood the principle behind desiccants, only that they came in shoeboxes. I wonder if the same principle applies to massive things like a widescreen TV or a fridge.

Which is better, the Asus EEE PC or the HP 2133 Mini-Note PC? I don't know but we found these videos really helpful:

1. In terms of size:



2. In terms of start-up time on Windows:



3. In terms of start-up time on Windows and Linux:



4. The HP 2133 Mini-Note PC up close:


5. The Asus EEE PC up close:

Madonna goes back to her roots and I love it! Hard Candy is as sweet as pop was in the 80's, only it's updated with a lot of electronic riffs, hip hop and much more bittersweet melancholy. She has dropped the likes of Mirwais and William Orbit for this project, and opting to work with the likes of Justin Timberlake, Kanye West and Pharrell Williams instead who may have given Madonna her umpteenth second wind as the album scores big with a lot of critics. The album is very personal, but it evades the "Shanti Ashtangi" magic of her much beloved Ray of Light, released more than a decade ago.

At 49, Madonna has spent the past decade incorporating trip-hop, Eurodisco and electronica in her music. They're all absent in this album this time, giving way to an unpretentious and poignant dance party. As Cary Ganz of Rolling Stone points out, Madonna's Hard Candy "is an act of submission." The rhetoric of "Hard Candy" is much more contemporary: the collection explores her midlife crisis on her own artistic journey, lambasting record producers indirectly by making use of--ironically--the musical syntax of artists whom record producers may be in love with at the moment.

After a difficult few months of balancing finances, taking care of a sick parent, and taking more odd jobs left and right just to afford a semblance of a life, I rewarded myself yesterday with an impulse purchase of Creative's Zen MP3 player. Ever since my iPod conked out on me a few months ago, I have been in search of alternatives because I really find it inhuman to spend all that money on an iPod considering the demand should make the technology far cheaper these days. There's this seething feeling inside me that is beginning to hate Apple products for the simple reason that they have become what Microsoft and Windows was a decade ago.

So I spent money on someone else, someone hungrier to churn out better products. And I am very very very happy for focusing attention on Creative's Zen Player. It has everything I need in a digital music player including a built-in microphone to allow you to make voice recordings and offers expandability through an SD card slot. Originally, I wanted to get the 16 gb version but the incompatibility with Mac scared me so I opted to get the baseline 4gb model instead, thinking that I can just use SD cards with the device.

While I can use the player as a glorified SD card reader that allowed me to transfer music files from the Mac to the SD card inside, a little google-ing later presented a beautiful solution that permitted me to connect my Creative Zen player with a Mac. XNJB is a program that allows you transfer and manage files on your Creative Zen player using a Mac computer. It's great and works well. While it may not beat the convenience of a program like iTunes, it is a welcome
reprieve for me. Now I am able to maximize the Zen's built-in storage and still have my SD card slot freed up for other things.

Aside from the price, the Creative Zen player also offers a powerful package that can give Apple a run for its money. It can basically do everything Apple iPods can do: playing music, movies and displaying photos on different formats. It is iTunes compatible (that is iTunes on Windows). I also like the sound quality on this player. I used the same earphones from my old iPod and the sound is better on the Creative Zen, with a fuller bass that doesn't pound the ears as much plus a more precise volume control adjustment.

Just when I thought I wanted an Asus EEE PC, Hewlett-Packard came out with the HP 2133 Mini-Note PC. The full specs for the baseline model are as follows:

Operating system	SUSE Linux Enterprise Desktop 10 FreeDOS
Processors available	VIA C7-M ULV processor (1.0 GHz, 128 KB L2 cache, 400 MHz FSB)

Memory	512 MB 667 MHz DDR2 SDRAM
Memory slots	1 SODIMM slot

Hard drive

4 GB Flash Module

Display size	8.9-inch diagonal WXGA
Graphics	VIA Chrome 9
Integrated camera	Optional VGA camera

Ports	Standard: 2 USB 2.0 1 microphone in 1 headphone/line-out 1 external VGA monitor 1 RJ-45 1 AC power
Slots	1 Express Card/54 1 secure digital
Audio	ADI1984HD High Definition CODEC; 24-bit DAC; Integrated stereo speakers; Stereo headphone/line out; Stereo microphone in

Network interface	Integrated Broadcom NetLink Gigabit Ethernet PCI Controller (10/100/1000 NIC)
Wireless	Integrated Broadcom 4311AG WiFi Adapter

Weight	2.8 lb (1.27 kg)
Dimensions (w x d x h)	10.04 x 6.5 x 1.05 in (255 x 165 x 27 mm)

Battery	3-cell (28 WHr) high capacity Lithium-Ion
Power supply	External 65-watt Smart AC adapter, 6-foot (1.8-meter) power cord included. Total length including external AC adapter is 12 feet (3.66 meter). HP Fast Charge Technology.

Security management

Configuration Control Hardware; Memory Change Alert; Ownership Tag; Setup Password; Power-On Password; Kensington Lock Slot

Warranty - year(s)

HP Services includes a one-year standard parts and labor warranty, pick-up or carry-in, and toll-free 7 x 24 hardware technical phone support (depending on model). On-site service and warranty upgrades are also available.

I personally don't mind going Linux as many people have convinced me of the possibilities plus the fact that it provides a more democratic alternative to Windows and Mac, the latter of course has been more capitalist than ever. But since my PowerBook still has a few more years ahead of it, I am holding out until they release a small notebook that packs in more power. However, the possibility of carrying something like this HP 2133 Mini-Note PC or the Asus EEE PC that is far more lighter and less conspicuous on my back the whole day and in and out of different places is really tempting.

It also doesn't hurt that the HP 2133 Mini-Note PC is far handsomer than the Asus EEE PC.

Did I ever have a social life? If I did, I miss it: being around people who liked being around you; the camaraderie and brotherhood, the solidarity that allowed you to forget even for a short period of time that I am of this world.

There are other things to miss: my personal space and my personal life. Writing in that space and time, reading a book I really wanted to read, commanding time in this universe as though I were my own god.

Virginia Woolf, my favorite writer, writes: "Only the writer with independent means can have independent views."

And I wonder if I have truly independent means to be my own self as everything I am seems to be connected to some wayward institution I really don't care much for.

I also miss friends. Especially the ones I've lost and the ones I've left behind. It kills me to think that I can't be with a lot of them but we all have other lives now. Other lives that may amount to nothing in this magnanimous universe.

I look back to the last few years and I am amazed at how far I've gone and how far I have gone despite being in the same place throughout. I miss myself a lot, and I feel I will never be whole.

(Found this in my inbox. Hilarious. I will kneel to whoever wrote this).

WINNERS – LOSERS : THE HEAT IS ON.

From the Greedy Group to the Gucci Gang. From Jamby to Janina. From Ramielle Malubay to Rovilson & Marc. Conventional Wisdom is at it again. To rant. To rave.

The Season of Lent is a good time to reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly events we have been experiencing for the past months. Conventional Wisdom (CW), a firm believer in the saying what will not kill you will only make you stronger, is back and fortunately, has not succumbed to aneurysm caused by the scandals heaped upon by the likes of Gretchen, Kris, Ruffa last year. Unfortunately, only to be replaced by even bigger scandals these past months. Read on, and find out the latest score card.

The Gucci Gang vs. Conned-Aussie-Gay-Guy-With-HIV-Seeking-Revenge- Through-His-Blog (CAGGWHIVSRTHB). Losers. Probably the biggest and hottest scandal du-jour after the ZTE. Gloria Arroyo should be sending thank you notes or better yet, cash (via Western Union) to Brian (the CAGGWHIVSRTHB) for taking the heat out of the Senate ZTE investigation. Giving us, the masses, what can only be described as a nuclear melt-down to gawk at.

Spanning two continents, the blog features a cast of thousand beautiful people (ok, not all beautiful. As the acronym T.I.M. Y.A.P. rightfully spells : T. Inang Mukha Yan, Ang Pangit) involve in drugs, sex in all its permutations, and con artists posing as society boys and girls. The blog tackled a whole range of delicious topics ranging from suspense (a murder cover up inside an exclusive condo), action (police raid of someone's room in the middle of the night in picturesque Boracay) comedy (the clam chowders, or married rich men who actually like other men, but pamper their trophy wives to death), horror and science fiction (all the fat, ugly, and balding high society people who think they are svelte, gorgeous and, with full hair), sex (someone asking for head inside a running elevator), and documentary (a dissection of someone's personal hygiene). This is Discover Channel at its Best. Brian's blog makes Gossip Girl, Devil Wears Prada, and The Nanny Diaries look like The Sound of Music. Next to Celine Lopez, Kris Aquino is a nun. The blog is vile, dirty, bitchy, and oozing with venom. CW likes it. We may not wear Gucci. We may not be able to set foot in your clubs. We go to StarMall instead of Greenbelt 5. We ride on that can of sardines masquerading as MRT, and we buy our lunch from the Jolli-jeep. But we do honest work for an honest pay. And we live real, meaningful lives. Thank you very much.

The Greedy Group vs. Whistle-Blower-Probinsyanong-Instik-Who-Suddenly- Found-Instant-Fame-And-Is-Now-Acting-Like-A-Politician (WHPIWSFIFAINALAP). Losers. While the Gucci Gang Scandal has a cast of a thousand beautiful people, the Greedy Group Scandal features a cast of a thousand ugly people. The investigation tackled a whole range of yummy topics ranging from melo-drama (must the star witness always cry and look perplexed and constipated?), sex (a witness who can not testify for fear of being outed by at least two senators who themselves should be outed), comedy (hambur-jer, bukol, tong-pats. A surprise witness who caused the senators to be surprised), action (a man kidnaped at the airport, brought to Laguna, and before one can say Sister Act III, was rescued by nuns), and a whole lot of mystery (money by the billion dollars, and who the hell is F.G.?).

Jun Lozada (J.Lo) and Joey De Venecia . Winner – Loser. Winner for preventing that dirty ZTE deal to push through and, exposing the shenanigans of the very dirty Abalos. Losers because as the feisty Miriam would say "this is just a fight for kickbacks". Pare-pareho lang kayo. If anything, Joey is a winner for being instrumental in the removal of Yoda (his over staying father) as speaker of the house, and as the head of his political party. To this, thank you Joey. On a lighter side, CW's officemate is wondering if the real father of Joey de Venecia is Mayor Sanchez of Caluan, Laguna. Not because they both committed heinous crimes, but they both sport heinous hair-dos. As for J.Lo. CW thinks he is telling the truth. Well, most of of the time anyway. But please, Clarissa Ocampo he is not. CW finds J.Lo too glib, too showbiz, and too politician for comfort. The act is fast becoming stale, J.Lo. As the Melanie Marquez would say : You can cry once, you can cry twice, you can even cry thrice…but you can never cry four. CW does not want to think the fate awaiting this man once his usefulness has dried-up.

Benjamin Abalos. Loser. CW can not think of an adjective to describe this creature. Except, Ang Tigas ng Mukha Mo! You are about to kick the bucket Mr. Abalos, so think of the legacy you are leaving behind your grandchildren. All carrying the Abalos name. Please, have some decency.
PGMA. Winner. Evil. Bitch. Ingrate. Medusa. Galema. And these are just some of the flattering adjectives heaped on this Teflon president. Stick and stones may hurt her bones, but last time we checked (March 16, 2008 4:30 pm), she is still the President of the country. Happily hopscotching on the grounds of Malacanang via her Unity Walks with the governors, mayors, students, barangay tanods, security guards, nightclub bouncers, and the transvestites of Makati Avenue. To this, Gloria can only say : "Isaksak mo sa baga mo Joe De V., at mamatay ka sa inggit Erap."

Print Ads Supporting PGMA. Losers. Funny that those expensive full-page ads supporting GMA mushroomed only AFTER the crucial inter-faith rally. These seguristas waited to see the full effect (which is nil, by the way) of the much ballyhooed rally before showing their support. And the ads are getting weirder and weirder by the day. From an obscure mayor of a forgotten town in Abra to the tricycle driver's association of Malolos, Bulacan. Please! Trees gave up their lives to have those precious papers printed.

The Inquirer. Loser. A Tabloid pretending to be a Broadsheet. No offense meant to tabloids, of course. At least, tabloids are cheaper, and they have Dear Xerex. While the Inquirer has sensationalism, bias-ness, yellow journalism, and Dolly Ann Carvajal. Enough said.

The Philippine Star. Loser. For having all those pseudo-writers in its stable. Especially those "lifestyle, entertainment, and fashion writers (read: The Gucci Gang and Butch Francisco)" whose only qualification is their connection to the publisher.

The Manila Bulletin. Winner - Loser. CW calls this the autistic newspaper. May sariling mundo. While most local newspapers would have the same headline (ex. ZTE scandal or Inter-faith rally), the Manila Bulletin's headline is about the arrival of some African head of state. They say Ignorance is Bliss, but this is overdoing it. CW wouldn't be surprised if there would be a tsunami today at the Manila Bay, and Bulletin's headline tomorrow would be about the 100th anniversary celebration of GSIS.

Jamby Madrigal. Loser. Is there a cure for verbal diarrhea? This woman has the rare ability to consistently embarrass not only herself but the institution she represents. The senate seat that rightfully belongs to Judy Ann Santos is now being occupied by this Miriam-wannabe. And what a mess she is doing. While Sen. Santiago is as volatile, at least Miriam has the brains, the articulateness, and the legs for the people to forgive, smile, and look the other way. But there is hope for Jamby. Once in a rare while, she can mouth relevant statements too. To Sen. Pia Cayetano, she admonished: " instead of doing marathon, cycling, triathlon, synchronized swimming, sepak-takraw,and tumbang-preso….. e mag-trabaho ka sa senado." Or something to that effect. Winner!

Stock Market. Loser. From a high of 3,800 points last year to 2,800 points last week. CW has been losing sleep over the fate of the meager investments it made culled from CW's pathetic Christmas Bonus last year, puny Annual Merit Increase last January and Vacation Leave commutation in February. Please, dear patron saint of stock markets, make the Philippine stock performance bullish again. That investment is meant for an out of the country vacation this September. At the rate the stock market is going, CW's dream vacation will not happen in Bhutan, but in Hinulugang Tak-tak, Antipolo.

Manny Pacquiao. Winner. Whatever his detractors say, whatever clouds of doubt hovering about his latest win, the fact remains that this pugilist has brought so much honor and cheer for the country. Filipinos desperately need something to be happy and rally about even for one day. For whatever shortcomings he may have as a person, Manny is indeed a modern day hero. As the Melanie Marquez would say to her detractors, "bago kayo mamintas, mag bigay muna kayo karangalan sa bansa."

Janina San Miguel. Winner. Yes. CW thinks this woman is a winner. She has the support of her Pamily. And she did land in the Taf ten. Ever! She didn't lose her cool. She has the humility to apologise. She won Best in Gown and Swimsuit. And went on to win the Bb. Pilipinas-World crown. Yes, CW was cringing and writhing in pain during her Q&A. It was as excruciating as having a root canal without anasthesia. But come on guys, we have fielded supposedly intelligent, law-taking, cum-laude, model-model, piano-playing types in international pageants and they all landed as "thank you girls" nevertheless. CW has a strong feeling that Janina will pull out a surprise and redeem herself. Ever! I thank you.

Gretchen Barreto. Loser. Like the ghosts in the movie Poltergeist, She's baacccckkk! CW is seriously considering to install this …this…. woman in it's Hall of Fame for causing nationwide nausea with her antics. The national mistress is desperately crying out for help. Someone call Dra. Holmes. Call Dra. Vicky. Call Dr. Quack-quack. To be quoted as saying "Even I AM fascinated by Gretchen Barreto" is the height of delusion of grandeur. Someone call Security. CW suggests that for her next album, Gretchen should include two appropriate Tagalog songs to reflect the current state of her life : "Sino ang Tunay na Baliw?" back to back with "Ikaw".

Nadia Montenegro. Loser. For calling Gretchen "baboy". Huuwaaattt?

The Gutierez women. Losers. From Ruffa's ka-cheapan to make a mountain out of a molehill "snob" by Lani Mercado (she left my pretty pouty lips on air), to her smug unsolicited advice to Bb. Pilipinas World's Taf Ten, Janina San Miguel. Ruffa honey, you had your time as a beauty queen many, many, many years ago. And you did not exactly win the Ms. World title, did you? And oh, your pretty pouty lips? One word : Collagen. So shut up. Of course, like daughter-like mother. The recent challenge of Anabelle to Lolit na "mag-suntukan na lang tayo"is another classic fish-wife statement from Anabelle. If this suntukan pushes through, this will be a boxing match to end all boxing matches. Rama vs. Solis : The Unfinished (show) Business. Susunod!! Ekslusibbbooo! Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you the Gutierez women - beautiful, outspoken, and cheap. From Anabelle, to Ruffa, to Raymund.

Angel Locsin and her manager. Losers. She once lorded it over at GMA-7 as the station's crown jewel. Was offered the role of Marimar, rejected it for a higher offer by ABS-CBN. Looks like this mercenary is losing the gamble she made. Wrong career move dear. ABS-CBN has already many talents to compete against. It's a virtual chopseuy of reigning and soon-to-be queens ranging from Anne Curtis to Bea Alonzo. From Kris Aquino to Claudine Barreto. From Toni Gonzaga to KC Concepcion. And of course, from Piolo Pascual to Sam Milby.

Ruffa Mae Quinto vs. Jessa Zaragosa. Losers. These two starlets should be completely ignored fighting over Ding-Dong. And it is not even Dantes.

Ramielle Malubay. Winner. Conventional Wisdom may be bias here but Ramielle should already be declared a winner. She may not be the best singer in the lot, and most likely will not win the AI title. But top ten is good enough. Ramielle is a winner for being proud of her heritage. She made it clear on day 1 that she IS Filipino. Unlike that Hawaiian girl who only re-packaged herself as Filipino when she attempted to launch a career in The Philippines. She failed.

Arnel Pineda. Charice Pempengco. Happy Slip. Cebu Dancing Inmates. And yes, even Renaldo Lapuz. Winners. Modern day techonology is indeed a great leveller. Take any ordinary video cam. Combine with Youtube. Add pure Filipino talent. Sprinkle with determination and luck. Boil, simmer and serve. Voila, international careers. These Filipinos are showing the world why this country is the music capital of Asia. It's in our blood, it's in our psyche. We can not live without music. Hard core prisoners : they dance. A senator's reaction when an envelope is not opened : She danced. Walking down the aisle (see Jessica Rodriguez): She sung. People Power : we sing and dance. The international press got it wrong. Those were not bloodless revolutions - those were Grand Fiestas.

Marc and Rovilson. Winners. You did us proud. Funny, fair, competent and clean players. Not to mention, attractive. You represented the country very well in that Race. CW pretended to clear its throat so as not to choke when Marc and Rovilson proudly carried the Philippine flag to the finish line despite the third placement. Amazing grace, indeed.

Manila Concert Scene. Winner-Loser. From Beyonce to Maroon 5. From Harry Connick to Ne-Yo and Mandy Moore. Real world–class concerts that show the world how safe and rockin Manila is. How competent our organizers are, and how cosmopolitan the Manila audience can be. But please…enough with the likes of Matt Monroe Jr… Cascades Jr….ABBA Jr…Lettermen Jr. Come on! Conventional Wisdom would rather watch the Golden Divas in Concert (Carmen Soriano, Carmen Patena, and Pilita Corales) than see those American geriatrics.

Sam-Piolo vs. Lolit. Losers. Old issue but relevant still. Lolit for embroiling herself into yet another controversy. Unbelievable that she is still at this game despite her age. Lolit, you are dangerously taunting the gods once again. Give it a rest granny. Go buy yourself a rocking chair and do cross-stich instead. Sam and Piolo are losers for actually going to court to deny they are gays. WTF?! Who do they think they are? Tom Cruise? Who ever advised these boys to go to court should be penalized by staring at the face of Boy Abunda for life. The official alibi of Sam is that he can not be at the Sofitel canoodling with Piolo because he was at some Robinson's Galleria beauty salon having his hair colored. Go figure.

David and Jessica Buenavacz. Losers. This social climbing couple had it coming. To be exposed as using other people's money to buy luxury goods (ex. BMW for her when she lost in a singing contest) is the height of bad taste at ka-cheapan. Last time we heard, this power couple ran in haste to escape the wrath of the business partners they conned. And in law, flight is indication of guilt. CW has an axe to grind against Jessica and David. CW is still undergoing counselling after that traumatic experience watching Jessica sing in her wedding dress while walking down the aisle (escorted by Mark Jimenez) to be given away to that Neanderthal man. Surreal scene. It was like witnessing a road accident. You know you shouldn't stare, but you just can't help it.

Filipino indie Movies. Winners. Shoestring budget plus a good story line plus nameless talented actors equals international recognition. This only proves that you don't have to be a big movie company to gain recognition in the international arena. Conventional Wisdom's only complain is that 99% of Filipino indie movies can be reduced to three themes: Poverty, Prostitution, and Homosexuality. While CW recognizes that these are realities in our society, please try other themes beyond the formula. CW doesn't want to vacation in France and be asked by an ignorant local if CW is a poor gay prostitute. This would be a problem because the only French word CW knows is "oui!".

There is a theory that all scandals last 15 days maximum. CW takes refuge in that study. If this is true, then at least we know that we have to brace ourselves for 18 more scandals for the rest of the year. We can then stock-up on Dolfenal, Alaxan, Biogesic, Bonamin, and Diatabs.

As we enter what is touted by PAGASA to be the hottest summer in decades, expect migraines, rising blood pressure, dehydration to happen. As we only have our resilience and humor to count on, we can only mutter this silent prayer: Good Heaven, please spare us from the relentless onslaught of the monsters haunting us in politics, showbiz, high-society, newspaper, the internet, and beauty contests. Let us go on with our our quiet lives. In the name of everything good and decent, make all the losers mentioned above change or disappear forever……ok maybe all except for Annabelle Rama and the juicy Gucci Gang exposes. Amen.

Please forward this email until it reaches DJ Montano, Mayor Sanchez,
Jessica Rodriguez, PSE, and yes, Matt Monroe Jr.

-1-

I downloaded the OpenOffice.org applications as part of my transitioning from Mac to Linux. I first touched the computer on an MS Dos environment before moving to Apple, then to Windows then to Mac OS. It will be my fifth platform, and as with all other transitions, the weight of having to learn new things and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of something you may never conquer is both exciting and daunting to me.


-2-

And the weather knows no transitions. I carried a jacket with me two weeks ago and talked to friends about the strangeness of March. March signaled the beginning of summer and this year, it came way too late. Some trees were still shedding leaves as though it was still November and the breeze filled your nose with a frigid burn. The Sunday after my birthday, I suddenly hailed a cab en route to lunch with friends 5 minutes away from where I was. Suddenly it has gone hot and humid, and I wonder where all the cold has gone.


-3-

I still have not moved houses yet. But I am getting there. Moving houses has been outright stressful and harrowing for me. There are those financial costs that make me feel that no matter how hard I work, I can never be good enough to deserve the little creature comforts I want. I spoke to the building contractor this afternoon and was pissed by how much she is trying to make everything more expensive than it should be. I know my prices, I've been doing my rounds of home depot window shopping, and if I get fed up with her, I will have it done by someone else. (If you know of any contractors within the metro, please email me).

It's also harrowing to have to put your life in boxes and move it from one place to the next. I am coming to terms with the fact that I cannot take everything with me, and that I have to purge. That's the difficult part. Letting go of the old so I could make room for the new. I was perfectly fine with the life I had and am leaving behind, I don't know why I have to muddle things up by moving and imagining life anew and--at least the private aspect of it--on my own.


-4-

I have been at odds with gout the past 9 days. That's the longest so far. In some symbolic way, I felt it has grounded me home. And at home, I am different from who I once was to my family before.

Strangely, that's how I feel around friends.

Stranger still, that's how I feel around my self.

I am posting this just in case anyone is interested as I am. The challenge is simple: "The Blog Awards Challenge is a blog competition combining literary skills, interactivity and peer polling. The Blog Awards Challenge is bi-weekly theme-based writing event for everyone in the blogosphere. A challenge is posted in the site every two weeks. Bloggers who wish to compete will write about the theme and post the entry in their respective blogs. A panel of regular and revolving set of guest judges will select the ten best entries out of the submissions. The ten finalists will be posted in the Blog Awards Challenge website and is open for polling by readers. The winner of the poll will automatically become The Readers Choice Award and the points will contribute in the overall tally for judging to determine the Challenge Winner."

So you write a blog based on a predetermined theme every two weeks or so and if what you write is liked, you get to be a finalist vying for the chance to be the champion. I don't know if there's a prize but I'm up for the challenge. My blogs aren't commercially palatable and I don't know if I have serious readers out there. I have consciously avoided telling my friends and family about this blog of mine and hope for serious readership instead, the likes who will stick because they like to, not because they have to.

Anyway, I hope the challenge themes would be as lame as I am. I hate to admit it, my crass engagement with popular culture has been the least inspired. So here's one way to hone it again through this challenge.

Bring it on.

Director Joe Wright and writer Christopher Hampton adapts this wonderful film from the novel by Ian McEwan. I have been tempted on more than one occasion to grab a DVD of Atonement. I'm glad that the busy schedule and work load allowed me to resist that urge because this film was a joy to watch on the big screen.

Masking as a sweeping romantic epic set immediately before World War 2, Atonement is a brilliant cinematic meditation on guilt. Possibly the best one I have seen after Au Revoir Les Enfantes, this film scores big with captivating cinematography punctuated by wonderful musical score that makes use of typewriter keys. It's a nice touch, considering the film plays with the possibility of having written a biographical piece as reparation for something very grave. The love story between Robbie (James McAvoy) and Cecilia (Keira Knightley) takes the backseat as the former's 13-year old sister Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan) witnesses the blossoming romance between the two. Jealous of her sister's clandestine affair with someone from a decidedly lower class and clueless about everything in general, Briony points out Robbie falsely as the man behind a recent sexual assault she has witnessed.

This haunts Briony for the rest of her life. Her atonement is writing the novel, imagining the lives of Robbie and her sister, making assumptions about war's horrors, imagining passion and love to transcend in the lives she ruined. Whether what is narrated is real or not, the seething feeling of guilt pulls through. To pull this off, the film has given much weight to the performances of its wonderful cast, who all manage to lend credibility and believability to their respective parts no matter how big or small.

Sleuth is an interesting experiment on character development and set design. I don't know how different it is from the original Anthony Shaffer stage play or from the first 1972 film adaptation where "Laurence Olivier tore Michael Caine to pieces in Joseph L. Mankiewicz’s vicious screen version".

In this new adaptation, Caine comes back playing Olivier's role as the rich and bitter crime writer, Andrew Wyke while Jude Law plays Caine's original character, Milo, the handsome young lad who will be Wyke's adversary. Wyke and Milo are the only two characters you will see through the entire film as 99% of the events depicted will take place inside Wyke's house. It's hard to empathize with any of the two, and the whole movie can be a taxing ordeal if you are in no mood to dissect egos as big as the ones portrayed and protracted here.

It's a fairly simple plot: Milo visits Wyke's mansion to talk the latter into divorcing his wife who now has affairs with the former so that he can marry her. Unwilling to budge and taking his chances on Milo's lower social class, Wyke points out that a woman like his wife has a voracious appetite for wealth which Milo can never give. Milo is just an affable hair dresser and offers an absurd proposition. What follows is a wily series of verbal and mental twists, as each tries to outwit each other to exact humiliation, revenge and to uphold each other's egos culminating in an unexpected but rather wickedly developed twist in the end.

While I am in no mood to talk about characterization and how the two acted (because they kinda sucked at it--engaging but not brilliant), let me just say that the best character in this film is Wyke's house. The perfect signifier of modern architecture and design, the house is a technological marvel accentuated by the best modern manipulations of glass, steel and concrete. It was meant to be more of a display house rather than something to live in. It is also the best reminder of the invisible wife as the two move constantly inside this cold interior, unknown to us if they are conditioned by their own musings and imagination or if they are being gazed at and manipulated by the woman in-absentia. In any case, the house worked well, and added a multitude of dimensions in trying to gauge the depth and sincerity of the characters it tries to trap inside.

What doesn't work for me is director Kenneth Branagh's film rhetoric. It is confused and thoughtless. He overplays the sleuthing by making use of security footages taken from weird angles, but it's a bit inconsistent and a little all over the place. It's too tedious and a bit inorganic., making it even more difficult to make any emotional connection with either of the two actors on screen despite watching them intimately.

Over at Bulgarian Idol, a contestant sings Mariah's "Ken Lee". This is great, promise:

Saw this movie some time back and I still can't go over the fact that this movie sucks. You would think that something sensible can come out of someone like Doug Liman who directed the Bourne trilogy and a material that played on the possibility of having the power to bend space and time, traveling anywhere at the blink of an eye. Given the material and what appears to be a hefty budget for potentially the coolest visual effects since The Matrix, this movie sucked big time. All I could really think of was to obtain the superpowers they displayed in the film in order to be transported instantaneously from where I was into somewhere else, including hell, just to get away from the atrocity that is Jumper.

Trying to find something redeeming in the movie was a taxing process so let me rant about the bad stuff. The film moves from one scenic location to the next. From the Amazon to Rome, from a remote desert to the streets of Tokyo and yet the cinematography is far from breathtaking. The plot is poorly constructed too, and the motivations weak. After Hayden's character is hunted down by so-called Paladins out to exterminate the world off Jumpers, he revisits his father and high school crush. The father is killed and the girl is mesmerized with Christensen's character and they go to Rome for a romantic spree despite not having seen each other for years and never had clarified what was going on between them since then. Everything goes awry in Rome and you wonder why Hayden's character loves the Ann Arbor's character so much.

At the core of all these is Hayden Christensen who is blessed with killer looks but can't act any better than a log. It was a mistake to have pinned hopes on him doing something good--or passable--since the bloke can't deliver even if he is assisted by some of the best visual effects from the Star Wars prequels and now Jumper. All he has to do is react to what is going on, and yet he manages to make looking bored so difficult to do. Even Samuel Jackson sucked. His cool persona has been used way too much before, and there really is no point anymore to his attempts at brooding.

While I can't think of any veritable way to end this review, let me show you this review I found on YouTube who will sum everything I failed to discuss here:

Now, how's that for bling?

The best red on the red. Heidi had a grander dress, but the hair and the accessories on this one is great.

Penelope Cruz can do no wrong.

Ayayayay!!! Her boobs look like an interplanetary space craft.